teen Self-Harm recovery

counselling support in Edmonton & Sherwood Park

WHY DO TEENS SELF HARM

• Emotional overwhelm – feelings like sadness, anger, anxiety, shame, or numbness can feel unbearable, and self-harm may seem like a way to release or control them.

• Difficulty expressing emotions – some teens don’t have the words, safety, or support to talk about what they’re feeling.

• Feeling numb or disconnected – physical pain can make them feel “something” when they feel empty inside.

• Sense of control – when life feels chaotic (family conflict, school pressure, trauma), self-harm can feel like one thing they can control.

• Self-punishment – some teens struggle with guilt or self-hatred and believe they “deserve” pain.

• Mental health challenges – depression, anxiety, trauma, eating disorders, or bullying can increase risk.

• Learned behavior – exposure through peers or online spaces can normalize it as a coping strategy.

Important things to know:

• Self-harm is a coping behavior, not a character flaw.

• It often coexists with pain, not attention-seeking.

• With the right support, teens can learn safer ways to cope and heal.

Teens who engage in self-harm are often trying to manage emotional pain that feels overwhelming, unbearable, or confusing. Counselling offers a safe, non-judgmental space where they can talk openly about what they’re experiencing, explore the underlying emotions driving the behaviour, and learn healthier ways to cope. It helps them understand that self-harm is not a flaw or a failure—it's a signal that they need support, understanding, and new tools to handle the challenges in their lives.

Therapy can also strengthen your teen’s ability to recognize their emotional triggers, build distress-tolerance skills, and develop a more compassionate relationship with themselves. As they begin to feel more in control of their emotions, they can improve communication with family, rebuild trust, and find hope in moments that once felt hopeless. With the right support, your teen can move toward feeling safer, more stable, and more connected—to themselves and the people around them. If you ever have immediate concerns about safety, reaching out to emergency services or crisis supports is always the right step.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

Supporting a teen who self-harms can really matter. The most helpful support is calm, consistent, and compassionate, even when it’s scary or confusing.

1. Lead with empathy, not panic

• Stay calm if you can. Strong reactions (anger, shock, threats) can increase shame.

• Use phrases like:
  “I’m really glad you told me.”
  “I care about you and want to understand.”

2. Listen more than you talk

• Let them explain why they self-harm in their own words.

• Avoid interrogating or pushing for details about methods.

• You don’t have to fix it—being present matters more.

3. Validate feelings (not the behavior)

• You can say: “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain.”

• Avoid saying things like “Just stop”, “Others have it worse”, or “You’re doing this for attention.”

4. Encourage safer coping—gently

• Don’t demand they stop immediately; that can backfire.

• Help explore alternatives together (holding ice, snapping a rubber band, drawing on skin with a marker, writing feelings, grounding exercises).

What to avoid

• Lecturing, threatening consequences, or making it about how scared you are

• Promising secrecy if safety is at risk

• Treating self-harm as “bad behavior” instead of a sign of pain

If there’s immediate risk

If the teen is in danger right now, contact local emergency services or a crisis line. In the U.S., they can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re outside the U.S., I can help find a local resource.

If you want, tell me your role (parent, sibling, friend, teacher, coach), and I can tailor this advice or help you figure out what to say in a first conversation.

Thrive SELF HARM RECOVERY Edmonton & Sherwood Park